Ask Agent Francis York Morgan

The following is a direct transcript from ARI data and washington state pay phone records. Transcript retrieved from FBI database.

“Is this Agent Jayden?”

“Speaking.”

“I apologize for the interruption; I undertand you’re on an important case. My name is Agent Francis York Morgan, and I just have to make a brief inquiry.”

“Not a problem, Agent Morgan. I’d be glad to help, so long as it’s fast.”

“Is your ARI running?”

“Yes, there hasnt been any problems with-“

“Then you had better go catch it.”

[System records show a period of silence lasting fifteen seconds.]

“I’m hanging up now, Agent Morgan.”

“Hold on a second, before you go, could you use your sunglasses to settle an argument a friend and I are having? Because he thinks Kingdom of the Spiders had shaun connery in it, and I keep telling him he’s thinking of Zardoz.”

[System records indicate the connection was terminated on Agent Jayden’s end.]

I’m a man of very particular skills. First and formost is the ability to track down and bring criminals to justice. Most of the time, being an FBI agent is… if not mundane, perhaps you’ll accept ‘grounded in the real world’. Wether we like it or not, the real, concrete world is where the true sources of brutality and pain seem to spring from. Take, for example, the high rates of murderers and violent criminals who experienced some form of childhood abuse. No matter how fantastical the reasoning they might give for what they’ve done, or the horrifying ways they choose to lash out at the world, in the end, it all trails back to something as tragic, but very real, as a child who just isnt being treated right.

That’s something that always fascinates me. After all, there’s plenty of people who go through something… just terrible as children, but grow up to move past those moments in their lives, and become more then the sum of the people who hurt them. What’s the difference between someone like that, and someone who balls up around all the pain inside of them, and tries to use violence to take control of it? If you could look between two people who chose to continue, or break the cycle of violence, and see the same frightened, lonely child inside of them, it could really make you wonder.

Who knows? Maybe the difference is how the other important adults in their lives reach out to them. I read once, that sometimes, even having just *one* really, sincerely *good* adult role model can change someones whole life for the better.

I wonder if I could be that way, for someone? Maybe I already have. It’s nice to think so, anyhow. But I’ve gone off topic a little.

I guess you could say, at the end of the day, I’ve seen… a whole other kind of world in the course of this job. But don’t worry.

There’s still little spots of sunshine to be found. You just have to get clear of the darkness. Sometimes, the help you need to get free of it is inside of you the whole time, and you just never notice.

1,307 plays

rosalarian:

I decided to put Life is Beautiful (the whistling song from Deadly Premonition) through the Wub Machine for shits and or giggles, and ended up with a kind of amazing mashup that I genuinely enjoyed listening to. We have dubbed it “Coffee with the Raincoat Killer.” This is almost as good as the time we put Rosie o’Donnell’s spoken word freeform poetry through the WM.

Now, that’s a coffee break you can dance to.

I like to take a stroll through the bookstores now and then, to see whats on the shelves. Now, unfortunately, Greenvales available book shop is… not exactly well stocked. But even in such a *small* corner of the literature ecosystem, its possible to glean larger trends. It’s a little, almost archaic glimpse into the larger culture, going on out there somewhere in the world, far removed from this little foggy green corner. You wouldn;t think so, but in a rural corner like this, a bookstore is the most reliable method I have to take a look at the greater cultures sense of mind.

See, in a place like this, people dress how they want to dress. As fashionable or as… exotic as you might please, its up to the individual. That holds true even more then usual in greenvale, I’ve noticed. Music, films, clothing, hobbies… this town is full of eclectic, passionate tastes. Like, say, take Emily for example. I was surprised to discover that, for someone who dresses to the job on and off duty, when she has a full day off, she spends her time at home in these gentle blue dresses, completely at odds with her beige sheriffs office uniform.

I feel like I’ve been asked this question before… but I can’t remember what I said at the time. Zach, let me know if you can think of it. But even if that’s the case, it’s a really interesting subject matter, isn’t it? If you weren’t doing what you are now, what would you do? When you break that question down, what someones really asking at the heart of that is ”Who would you be, if you had chosen differently?”

Or, I suppose, “What would have happened, if your life had gone differently?” I’d like to approach the question from this angle, I think. If some major event hadn’t gone the way it had… say, for instance, something from ones childhood. Everyone has some inspiration for the way they live their lives, some moment that helps them make heir descisions- and usualy, that happens when you’re very young.

I like to think, if things have been different, I might actually have been a teacher. A college professor, perhaps. Or a writer- I’ve been enamored with the art of storytelling since I was very small, after all. I’ve thought a lot about writing a novel based on my experiences as a FBI Agent, once some of my cases are declassified.

But its very possible that going into law enforcement was a little… inevitable, for me. Someone else, in another job, in another lifetime… well, when you get down to it, they would be a completely different person then who I am. They’re a mystery, that I can only try to get a closer look at across a gulf so vast, it might as well be another world.

On second thought, I doubt I’d want to be a teacher. Having to keep going outside just for a cigarette sounds like a pain. I think it’d have to be a author. I bet I could write a really great mystery novel.

Since you’re not actually my supervisor, psychologist, or anyone of any importance to my professional life, I’m not only not required to answer that, I’m not required to answer any further questions.

Zach is a private matter. That’s all anyone I don’t answer to ever needs to know.

Now, now. It’s not really good manners to accuse someone of lying to a federal office, now is it? What kind of an officer of the law would I be if I allowed myself to be psychologically compromised.

Besides, even if I did choose to doctor the results of a psychological evaluation, it wouldn’t do me much good. You see, the thing about going into the same field as a parent, is you’re under… very close watch. I don’t like to discuss the matter, but I’ll just say that when I accepted this job, I consented to being evaluated for stability and mental health at a higher level.

It’s nothing personal. You just never know what runs in the family.

As part of the terms of my employment, while in the field I’m to report in by phone regularly, if not daily. I attend my psychological counseling regularly, and do my best to be as honest as I can. I’m not privy to my own files, of course, so I can’t tell you what conclusions have been drawn about me.

At the end of the day? Whatever they might think about me, and my methods, I get results. Thats some advice I can give to just about anyone joining their feild. Always be sure you do better work then you are hard to work with.

Of course, it’s possible the FBI just thinks I’m safer being watched by them then I would be doing something else. So maybe see if that could work out for you. You never know.

I’m a little busy at the moment.

I have, but I regret to report that when it comes to a morning cup of coffee, while the flavor adds a welcome note of festivity, it just isn’t quite as clear for the purposes of investigation. Not to mention it’s a little sweet for that early in the morning.

You see, because of the nature of my job, it feels like more often then not, Zach and I aren’t really able to stop and appreciate the holidays. I suppose thats just how it works when you have more work on hand then family to visit. But I always try to make a point of getting some eggnog and sugar cookies, and leaving a thermos of hot coffee out. Just in case. A man can’t do that much work in one night and not need a little pick me up, I think.

That reminds me- Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, now, theres a great, strange holiday film. 1964, directed by Nicholas Webster. Starring a young Pia Zadora, as Girmar, one of the Martian children who’s desire to have a real Santa Clause, and the comforts of childhood, drive the plot. I wonder where you would go about finding a copy of that, these days…

Well, looks like it’s the holidays again… you know, I don’t usualy get to do a lot for Christmas, but I always enjoy the spirit it brings to people. For just a little while, it seems like there really is a sort of… magic in the air. All the kids get really exited, and sometimes the most surprising people are just full of a deep love and excitement, even for just a few days. Even when this time reminds me of… people I’ve lost, I was always lucky enough to have Zach by my side for a good old fashioned christmas movie marathon.

Still, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to christmas weather on the west coast. Nine inches of rain isn’t exactly what I think of when it’s caroling time. On the other hand, there isn’t a scrap of Thomas’ *sublime* christmas fruitcake to be found on the east coast, either.

Happy holidays, everyone. I hope that every single one of you has a relaxing holiday week, and people to share it with. If you’re alone, just remember that I’m rooting for you, and I just know you’ll have an amazing new year. Zach told me so himself.

Also, how cool was this christmas promo? I hope the twin peaks caption blog won’t mind me hijacking it, but I just couldn’t resist. May all your sweets be made with love, and your coffee be piping hot.

-FBI Agent Francis York Morgan.